Last week was the last week of our awesome holiday! We had the best of times and totally relaxed! It was like magic – no stress, no phones, just us.
When we got home it was a bit of a reality check because our girls where soon to start High School and a little bit of the anxiousness and worry started to creep in. It would have been so easy to give in to it, but I’m ‘almost’ not that person anymore, so I pushed it aside and tried to focus on the positive – a new year stretching ahead, new school, new friends, new class, teachers etc. But something was still not right and I realised what it was….. My bad habits were now my children’s, especially the one. Now when I was pushing towards the light they were still back in the Whirlpool slowly spinning around towards the hole.
I entreat them and urge them and explain to them that they mustn’t think negative thoughts and they just roll their eyes!! Who invented that?? The eye-roll, seriously!! It’s funny because I distinctly remember doing that to my parents and what do you know, they’re doing it to me! I realise now that Rome wasn’t built in a day so I will have to take small steps and somehow something will rub off onto them, God willing.
So you may wonder about the picture above – that’s my Murraya bush. I think it’s part of the Jasmine family, anyway, it has (as you can see) blossomed! Wow, what a scent, it’s beautiful and I am truly blessed to have it growing in my home. I am sitting with a small sprig of it in a vase on my desk – the whole room smells heavenly.
So the bush is kind of what I hope to turn out like. Initially there were three small bushes that refused to grow, they were just there staring at me staying the same size and almost taunting me because of the richness of their colours and the little glimpses of a flower hidden amongst the leaves. I would stare at them and will them to grow, but to no avail!! So towards the middle of last year I started watering them regularly and mentally asked/urged them to grow and slowly I forgot they weren’t growing and as I mentioned we were on holiday recently and when I went to water them again for the first time I found this huge bush, not only that, but it was full of flowers and the scent, well, my heart was full. It showed me just what I was in for, what my future me had the potential to be. It’s like I have been watering myself with all the information that my MKMMA course has given me and I have sort-of stopped worrying and obsessing about the things that are wrong with my life, almost like just ‘being’ and hopefully I will turn out to be just as strong and full and beautiful as my Murraya Bush!